At Death's Door
by baynard
Summary: John Shepard had tried his best to warn the galaxy of the impeding threat of the reapers. Unfortunately the ageless race of genocidal machines were here, and it was once more up to the commander and his motley crew to save the galaxy. Soldiers can feel when their time comes, but for John who escaped death's clutch once already, the whispers of the afterlife was closer than most.
1. Chapter 1

How do you capture a man's final moments? There's so much to be said, so much to do left, and so many reasons to continue living. But sometimes the clocks up, and the reaper comes collecting, and no one can avoid that call. John managed to return from the dead once with the help of a shadowy semi terrorist vigilante organization, and with some luck and help from a crew full of the most talented individuals in the galaxy he managed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat at the collector base, destroying the abomination being built from human flesh and destroying the home of the zombified protheans.

But now, as he watched the hand like shapes of a dozen reapers descend through the churning atmosphere and the rain of crimson fire falling from the sky, John couldn't help but feel that these were his final moments. The reapers were here, after all the fighting, all the desperate attempts to gather evidence to prove to the galaxy that action needed to be taken against this threat, they were here. And no one was ready.

Anderson was saying something into the radio they had found next to the downed gunship, but the words echoed from miles away. John's eyes were glued to the horizon, mesmerized by the descent of death itself, ears deaf to the sound of destruction and dying all around him. _It's almost beautiful_ he thought to himself. The way the clouds turned an angry red before parting as dark fingerlike appendages speared through the condensed liquid, ruby beams flashing and destroying all it touched. Air cars were fleeing in all directions, rats desperate to escape a sinking ship, but like those rats they really had nowhere to go that would afford their survival much longer than staying on the sinking ship.

"Shepard!" Anderson's voice finally broke through John's hypnotized state, and he returned focus back to his former CO. "The Normandy's on its way. We just need to hold out until she gets here."

Nodding once, the first human spectre primed his assault rifle with inferno rounds. Fatalistic thoughts were a part of being a soldier, coming as easily as the breath that kept their bodies alive, and like ragged breathing that resulted from sprinting for one's life, a marine learned to ignore that too.

Half a dozen fireballs crashed into the wrecked docking bay, mere meters away from where they stood. Both men dived behind the metal gurney as rounds sliced through the area where they had previously stood. Peeking his head up over the poor cover, John counted about eight Cannibals spreading out into the area, trying to find a position to flank the two defenders. The husks appeared to be the smashed together body of a Batarian and Human, roughly humanoid in form with a gun surgically strapped to their left arm. Crimson rounds spanked into the area around the two men, forcing them to remain behind cover. When the gunfire hit a lull, both men rose as one and returned their own answering shots.

Anderson's concussive shot planted a Cannibal on its backside, and a quick double tap of his pistol put the monstrosity down for good. John rose with the assault rifle already aimed at a target he had picked out earlier, trigger pressed down as the automatic rifle tore the thing apart. A blue glow surrounded the spectre as he focused his biotic powers to form a barrier around his body, absorbing the returning fire from the remaining Cannibals. Switching targets, he managed to hose down another two targets before the Avenger clicked empty, prompting the man to fall back into cover to reload. And not a moment too soon, his barrier had dissipated from the torrent of enemy fire and by the time he was fully knelt back down his personal shield had popped with an audible snap.

Anderson had used the opportunity when the enemy had been focused on John to toss out a fragmentation grenade which had taken down another two of the reaper foot soldiers. Popping his head out of cover, he did a brief scan of the battlefield, counting only two more of the Cannibals. Ducking his head back under cover, he signaled to John where the two Cannibals were taking cover. The commander gave a brief nod of his head before shooting upwards and throwing his hand out towards where Anderson had indicated.

A shroud of dark energy briefly cloaked the man before a dark blue sphere shot forward out of his hand. The ball slammed into the piece of gunship the enemy was hiding behind, exploding dark energy everywhere. The two unfortunate Cannibals were torn out of cover as the singularity picked them both up off the ground, leaving them exposed. John and Anderson ended the threat quickly with a few well placed shots.

Turning around, John opened his mouth to ask Anderson a question about the readiness of Earth's fleet for such an invasion, but was cut off as more reaper forces arrived in a flash of crimson fire. The roar of the Cannibals was accompanied by the howl of husks, a sound John had come to hate with a passion. Many of his nightmares involved watching himself or the people he cared about being torn asunder by these walking dead.

While the gunfire of the Cannibals kept the two men down, the husks rushed forward in a disorganized manner, zigzagging this way and that with no distinguishable pattern the eye could follow. The first of the human corpses to vault over the two alliance soldiers cover was blown in half by a well-timed concussive shot from Anderson. Risking enemy fire, John stood up and unleashed a shockwave that sent three of the charging husks flying backwards. Besides him Anderson had followed suit with his pistol in hand, putting down two more of the walking dead before they were once more forced back into cover.

"Running low on thermal clips," grunted Anderson as he slapped in his final heat sink.

"You and me both." Digging one of his last two thermal clips out of his vest pocket, he tossed it over to the admiral who gave a nod of thanks.

"Let's hope the Normandy gets here soon, or there won't be much left for them to rescue," said Anderson with a grim frown.

As if summoned by the former human counselor's words, Joker's voice echoed through their earpieces. "Cavalry has arrived gentlemen, hope we didn't keep you waiting too long!"

Two missiles tore apart the remaining reaper forces as the majestic ship screamed out from behind a massive tower to do an about face near the harbor. The underbelly of the ship opened to reveal half a dozen soldiers with rifles in hand.

"About time!" shouted Anderson.

The two men raced forward, vaulting over the debris that kept them from the ship that would bring them to safety. A mighty leap and John was aboard the ship, Ashley's hand steadying his body as he caught his balance.

"Welcome aboard Shepard." The tone did not hold any of the hostility that had been in abundant amount on Horizon and for that John was glad. Whether there was still a problem between them had yet to be seen. Turning around, he found Anderson staring back at him solemnly from the harbor.

"Come on Anderson! We need to go!" he shouted, wondering why the Admiral had not followed him.

"I'm not coming with you. You saw those men back there. There's a million more like them out there, and they need a leader."

"The hell you're not!" John shouted back. "We're in this fight together. If you stay, so will I!"

"It's not a fight we can win John. Get to the citadel, and bring us help!"

"What if the counsel won't listen to me?"

"Then make them listen! That's an order!"

Smiling grimly back at his mentor and perhaps the closest thing to a father he'd ever had, John gave a derisive chuckle. "I don't work for you anymore remember?"

Reaching into his pocket, the onetime human counselor pulled something out, examining them in his palm before he flung it towards John. Catching the dog tags, John realized with a start that they were his own.

"Then consider yourself reinstated, Commander." With those final words as his farewell, Anderson turned and raced back towards the dock never turning to look back.

Watching his old mentor make his way back away into the chaos, John felt the creeping feeling of death clench about his heart once more. It was very likely he would never see the man again, but they were soldiers. They each had their duty to perform, and sometimes one man marched to his death knowing he was buying time for another to finish the fight. If their roles had been reversed, John would have done the same thing.

"Joker, get us out of here."

"Aye-Aye Commander."

As the Normandy began to lift off, a flash of white caught John's eye. Turning his head, he found the form of the little boy he had seen in the air duct standing at an evacuation station. Their eyes locked for a brief pause and the boy waved at him with one hand. Turning around, he clambered into the escape craft that was being loaded full of civilians. For a moment John felt some relief in knowing the child had made it to safety. But then the dull eardrum bursting rumble vibrated through the atmosphere, shattering windows that had somehow remained intact so far.

Around the corner a massive six legged monstrosity the size of a building clambered into the harbor. With a turn of its massive head, two crimson beams of energy lanced out through the air tearing the two escape crafts from the sky in a fiery explosion. Covering his eyes with his forearm for a moment against the glare of the explosion, John felt his heart sink. When his vision cleared again, all he could see was the reaper tearing apart the evacuation site, the people underneath lost under a cloud of smoke and fire.

Closing his eyes, John fought with the emotions that raged through him, the part of him that wanted to scream and cry at the unfairness of the universe. Taking a deep breath, the man pulled himself back into control before stiffening his back once more. There was work to be done, and a time for mourning later. No doubt a million little boys like the one who had died were out there who needed help, and with each moment he wasted mourning for the lost of that one child dozens of others were dying similar deaths. It was time to go.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: lol 0 love for this story. Won't stop me though!**

No matter how many drop ships he rode in, John would never get used to the fact that he was possibly riding to his own death. Granted he had his weapons with him which with some help from lady luck and some skill of his own was supposed to ward him from death. But it still unsettled him having to sit and wait patiently for the ride that would take him to the battlefield that may be his last.

For a man waiting for his death sentence to be executed, at least there is no doubt, no hope for an alternative solution to his problem. He knew he was a dead man walking. For a soldier, survival is not absolutely out of the question. No matter how bad of a shit storm they rode into, someone always makes it out to tell the story most the time. You simply didn't know if you might be that one person who gets to walk away at the end of the mission or not.

John had sat through his share of missions, and had survived against the odds unlike a lot of his comrades. Staring at the people sharing the shuttle with him, he couldn't help but wonder if all of them were going to make it back from this ride to the Mars archives. Sure it was supposed to be a simple milk run, drop in, grab the data and Liara and get the hell out before the reapers caught wind of it. But things are never that simple in real life.

Ashley sat across from him, and equally grim expression mirrored on her face. John ideally wondered if she was thinking the same thing he was. Would this be her last battle? His?

The jolting shuttle which had been buffeted by Mars's heavy winds landed with a dull thump, jolting the commander from his thoughts.

"Still no contact from the base, but we got a massive storm headed our way." Lieutenant James Vega was a solid man who was built like a krogan. John's time spent under house arrest had been made easier with the presence of the LT even if technically he had been a guard.

Securing his own helmet, John nodded at Ashley who was doing the same. "How long until it hits?"

"Half hour tops," replied James grimly. "After that we're going to have difficulties keeping up comms with the Normandy."

"Understood. I want us in and out. We secure Liara and whatever data she has and hightail it back to the Normandy."

Opening the Kodiak shuttle's door with a swipe of his hands, John unholstered the avengers assault rifle from its place on his back. Mars was a barren wasteland, an ocean of red mineral that had not seen life before humanity's arrival since the prothean's themselves had set up the archives. In the distance John could make out the massive cloud that rolled forward like a living being trying to consume everything in its path.

"Man that's a huge storm," whispered the Lieutenant in awe as the three man team moved forward past the solar panel array. "Looks a lot bigger in person."

"Come on Lieutenant, it's not that bad," said Ashley as they came up to the edge of the small overpass they had landed on.

"Doesn't mean it can't kill us," James replied.

"I'm more worried about the war back on Earth. Or the fact that nobody here is reporting in," Ashley rebutted.

"Fair enough."

Ignoring his teams chatter, John leapt off the small five foot drop and landed with a grunt. Straightening up, he frowned as he spotted the slumped form of a dead alliance marine laying next to a storage platform full of boxed equipment.

"Eyes up marines, looks like we might have company," John warned.

The Lieutenant and Lieutenant Commander acknowledged his orders as they made the short drop down next to the Commander. James had his shotgun out and was facing the area behind where Shepard was facing while Ashley walked up and began to use her omnitool to scan for identification on the dead soldier.

"Sargent Reaves," she intoned without emotion. "Looks like he was shot in the back of the head, execution style. The wound is consistent with a high caliber round fired from a rifle, and from the looks of it a single shot. Mattock maybe."

"Only one group I know that uses Mattock's consistently," growled John with fire in his eyes. "Looks like we might be dealing with Cerberus."

Ashley turned quickly at the mention of the terrorist group.

"Cerberus? What would they be doing here on Mars?" she asked suspicion evident in her tone.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not good. If it is Cerberus, that means we're facing shielded shock troopers, not mindless reaper husks. James, I want you switched over to your assault rifle; you and I will strip down any shielded enemy we run across. Ash, you still favor the sniper rifle?"

Seeing his old teammate nod, John continued. "You'll be tasked with taking down the unshielded targets while James and I run interference for you. Anyone have any disruptor ammo mods?"

Seeing Ashley raise her hand, he removed his own inferno ammo modification. "Trade you."

Loading the shield disruptor rounds in, he turned to look at James who had loaded inferno rounds into his own assault rifle. John opened his mouth to ask if the man had any tech or biotic capabilities, but was interrupted by a noise in the distance that any soldier worth their salt recognized.

The sound of a gunshot caused all three marines to heft their rifles, but with no enemies in sight they lowered them somewhat.

"Let's move out people!"

Taking off at a rapid pace, the three soon round themselves rounding the rocky outlet. Spotting the dozens of white armored individuals standing next to a troop transport, John dove for cover behind a conveniently placed piece of metal cover which was a part of an incomplete set that was probably meant to be a wall at some point. Ashley ducked behind a large boulder to his left while James had fallen behind a similar metal plate on his right.

As John peeked over his cover, he saw one of the troopers raise a pistol to a kneeling man. The sharp crack of gunfire was followed by the slumping of the now dead Alliance marine.

"Holy shit!" hissed James. "They're executing them."

"How's your throwing arm Vega?" John asked while cold fury raced through his veins. He would not allow these men to walk away alive for their crimes.

"If I wasn't so sure I wanted to be a marine I would have made it big in baseball Loco."

"Alright everyone, grenades on three. Ash, you got the far left, James right and I'll pitch it down center. On three!"

As one, the three marines counted down and stood up and tossed their respective explosives. James had a standard fragmentation grenade that exploded in a dull thump, while Ashley had favored an inferno grenade instead. As the flames from the incendiary explosive washed out over the group of soldiers not killed by the frag grenade, John half expected to hear the gravelly voice of Zaeed Massani shouting his signature victorious curse.

John himself had tossed a lift grenade, a powerful experimental biotic variation that had recently been developed by the Alliance. The biotic grenade lagged behind in its detonation, but the powerful lift field ripped the flailing and burning enemy troops up off the ground leaving them dangling helplessly as they burned.

"Light'em up!" he bellowed, following his own orders with the rapid chatter from his assault rifle.

Between the three experienced soldiers, they made quick work of the enemy forces. Moving out of cover, the three soldiers carefully advanced, each person covered by the remaining two squad mates who stayed in cover until it was their turn.

As they moved up the hillly area, shouts from enemy troops could be heard. John barreled forward, ducking slightly as rifle rounds zipped past his head. Finding cover behind some stacked crates, he poked his head out of cover and caught sight of half a dozen white clad troopers holding position behind a row of crates seated before another massive troop transport.

"I count six," he calmly reported through the radio as he pulled his head back as he heard his shields pop.

A single crack from Ashley's sniper rifle echoed above the din of the volley of incoming gunfire.

"Five now skipper."

Grinning slightly at the familiar competitive tone from Ashley, he turned to search for the massive form of Lieutenant Vega.

"You got a concussive round payload Lieutenant?" he asked.

"No, but I got something better."

Nodding John eyeballed his shield meter, steadying his breath as they finally loaded. "I'll pull'em up and you knock them down."

"Hell yeah Loco, I'm game!"

Ignoring the nickname he had apparently been christened with, John popped out of cover and aimed his hand at a pair of troopers while a grabbing motion with his free hand. A familiar surge ran up his spine as his eezero nodes activated.

Dark energy wrapped around the unfortunate pair, tearing them from the ground. As they floated and cursed, a red ball of energy sped out of nowhere and collided with one of the troopers. The unfortunate unshielded man exploded into chunks, showering his fellow troopers below him in a rain of gore and entrails.

"Jesus!" one of the enemy troopers shouted.

Swallowing back a surge of bile in his throat, John concentrated again, sending a ball of biotic energy zooming out to slap into the last floating trooper. The volatile mix of two unstable biotic fields ended in an explosion that was felt deep in the gut even dozens of meters away.

The dark energy field that was created from the explosion sent the remaining four enemy troopers reeling. Exposed and out of cover, they never stood a chance.

Keeping a careful eye on his motion detector, John crept forward and turned over one of the dead troopers, frowning as he spotted the logo he was looking for.

"It's Cerberus alright," he snarled. What the hell was the Illusive Man playing at?

"How did they know about the archives on Mars?" demanded Ashley.

"There's no way a handful of troopers could have taken out the platoon stationed here," murmured James as he finally stowed his rifle, satisfied that there were no more enemy combatants.

"Yeah," said Ashley with eyes narrowed behind her visor. "They'd need an inside man to pull this off."

Feeling her gaze upon his neck, John straightened before turning to face his former squad mate with arms crossed. "If you've got something to say, then come out and say it Ash. We've been through too much together to beat around the bush."

James had the decency to walk a few steps away under the pretense of examining the Cerberus troop transport.

"Cerberus may be pro human, but they're no friend of the Alliance. I need to know whose side you're on John!"

"The side I've always been on Ash," he said tiredly as he dropped his arms. "The side trying to stop the reapers."

Ashley averted her gaze in shame. "I'm sorry John, I shouldn't be doubting you."

"No, no you shouldn't, but the rest of the galaxy never had problems doubting me, so I guess I shouldn't be expecting any different from my friend," he said bitterly as he moved towards the entryway of the facility.

It hurt that Ashley harbored doubts about his motives. Everything he had worked for had been toward the goal of preventing the reapers from winning. The council had buried their heads while Cerberus had provided funding to stop the reapers from harvesting humans. What was he supposed to do? His warnings had fallen on deaf ears, but there had been a course of action before him. Those closest to him had always believed him, and that belief had sustained him through all the doubts and disbelief. Hearing Ashley's suspicion about his motives cut deeper than any weapon ever could.

"I'm sorry commander."

He ignored her whispered apology and stalked angrily into the elevator. He didn't have the time or energy left to deal with doubters. Death was at their doorstep. People would get out of his way or be trampled underneath his heel. He'd save the galaxy even if he had to drag its people to victory kicking and screaming.

**AN: bit of a fast write, sorry if there are any mistakes. **


End file.
